Something that I cannot forget until now

These few days I have not get over from some of my bad memories. Some very harsh comments from my boss especially kept disturbing me all the time. Actually I have been working for 2 years. Up until now the feedback from my boss is not very positive. It makes me relate back to the church camp teaching - be a useful person in your workplace.

I found that I am not a useful person in my workplace. I have been a burden to my boss. How can a person only bring trouble to his boss call himself "a useful person in workplace"? Even now in the office, I have to handle different critical issue at the same time, everybody asking me why am I so slow etc.....makes me feel that I am the culprit who delays the work, how I long for somebody in my workplace tell me, " Hey, Hoeping, you have done a great job!" Up until I have heard nothing about the comment like this.

I also blamed myself for not control my emotion well. I always show my bad mood on my face in public if something really bad happen to me. I don't know how to hide my emotion in front of people. I also cannot express well my thoughts to let other people know. I hate myself the most when people cannot understand how I feel and I simply cannot say them out in sentences.

I think I am a selfish person as well. I only care about how I feel and neglect how other people feel. I feel very miserable for this. I have let God down. I never apply what He said in the bible into my life.

I think that I am not a good example for brothers and sisters in Christ. My heart is filled with the negative thoughts and seems that I cannot get out of it. I only can pray that God will come and help me to overcome them........